Gaining What Was Lost

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm--my great army that I sent among you." ~Joel 2:25

 If you would have told me even a month ago that I was going to be in a picture like this, I would have laughed in your face.

For years, months, and days, I lived with bitterness, anger, frustration, and hurt in my heart. For years, I murdered a specific person in my heart over and over again for the pain that he had caused me. I had convinced myself I had forgiven, when really, I was clinging onto that pain like a buoy in the water. I didn't want to let go. Why? Because it was easy to hold onto that pain. It was easy to hold onto that anger. It was easy to stay bitter. For nearly 18 years I held onto it, and let it hold me back.

In the process of moving home, it didn't even cross my mind that God could have even something planned for my relationship with my dad. I just figured I was moving home to a healthy place with healthy people and that was good enough, right? Well sure, it was good, but God had something even better ahead of me.

When I moved home, I had a change of heart. God softened me, spoke to me, and gave me the strength to take the step of going to my dad's house for dinner. I was still going in with caution, but my eyes were completely opened to something new. I noticed a change even in how I felt--the bitterness was gone, the anger was gone, the hurt was gone--all of it, just gone. It was as if a wave had come over the marks in my sand and just wiped it all clean.

It caught me off guard at first. It was strange to me. I had lived 18 years with all that baggage and burden on me and my life--and now it was suddenly gone. I believe it was only by the strength of Christ that I was able to let those burdens go. I was able to submit them to God and allow him to bring a huge wave over my heart and wipe it clean.

Since that night of taking that step in going to my dad's house for dinner, God has clearly been moving. I've spent multiple times with my dad and his wife, Angie. I've been at their house, gone out for lunches and dinners, gone shopping, and gone to family gatherings with them. We've spent times laughing, having deep conversations, and making new memories. I've heard words from my dad's mouth that I never thought I would hear in our time here on earth. Heck, they even came to CHURCH with me on Sunday!! Never EVER did I think I would live the day where I would be able to stand next to my dad in church in worship and praise for our Father. We stood there next to each other absorbing God's presence. We even found out later when talking to each other that we both cried at the same worship song--just absolutely overwhelmed by God's presence and how good He is in the fact that we were able to be there together at the same time in praise and worship.

For the first time in my life over the past few weeks I have felt loved by my dad, appreciated by my dad, and happy to even be around my dad.

No more pain.
No more anger.
No more bitterness.
No more baggage.
No more burdens.

Instead,
Restoration
Renewing
New memories
New life
New chances
New times
New outlooks
New works
New chapters

God really does restore what Satan takes from us--all within His time. What a clever one He is.

And the best part? I have my dad back.


Here's to living the destined life..