Humbling Holiday

"In quietness and confidence is your strength."
~Isaiah 30:15

"'Don’t be afraid, Mary,' the angel told her, 'for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.'"
~Luke 1:30-31

Today, I am humbled by the mere fact of putting myself in Mary's position. Theologians figure that Mary was anywhere from 14-16 years old when she found she was going to be giving birth to Jesus. I sat this morning and really soaked that in. I can't even fathom being my age, let alone years younger, and being told by an angel that I was going to be giving birth to the Son of God.

I can't even imagine what Mary went through--mentally with herself, having to deal with others' perceptions, having to explain to others how she was a virgin, yet pregnant. Something that I've had to work on myself is the feeling of needing to defend myself. I've found myself in plenty of situations where I am judged, people talk, people ask questions upon questions, people make assumptions, etc. Then it has just been natural for me to feel the need to almost put up my shield, and explain and defend myself. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the past year is that God is my one and only defender. "In quietness and confidence shall be my strength", just as Isaiah 30:15 says. The position that Mary was put in was the exact thing that has inspired me to trust God to be my defender and a voice of truth and righteousness for me. It has given me a sense of peace that I have never experienced before.

The other thing that completely humbled me was just the fact of being told that you were going to give birth to the Son of God. I mean really, can you imagine an angel appearing to you and telling "Don't be afraid, God has found favor in you. You will conceive and give birth to the Son of God and name Him Jesus." . . NO PRESSURE! To me, that is just the prime definition of "honor". I could not imagine being the one chosen to give birth to the Son of God--how humbling.

This Christmas, I pray that you are filled with gratitude, joy, love, and this bountiful experience of being humbled.

Merry Christmas!

Breaking

Sometimes life just sucks.
And there’s heaviness everywhere you look.
Everywhere—people are broken, sick, dying, having relationship issues, going to treatment, dealing with an alcoholic family member, getting abused by their spouse, etc.
This world is so broken.
And there’s times where I just have my “broken moments”.
I stuff,
stuff,
stuff.
And the heaviness gets deep,
high,
thick.
And then I just break.

Have you ever watched yourself cry in the mirror?
Just sat there, just you and the mirror, and really stared into your eyes?
Studied the expressions on your face?
Watch the corner of your mouth curl as your bottom lip quivers.
Watch the pain seep out of your eyes and down your cheeks.
Tears making lines down your fragile face as if making a path of all the built up crap.
The tears almost stain your face like a tattoo on your skin.
Reminding you of where you’ve been and where it’s gotten you to.
And they just flow,
and run.
And you sit there, watching yourself, and a million things come to mind.
First pity.
You pathetic thing, look at you!
Allowing yourself to break like this.
Then frustration.
How the Hell did you let yourself open a door to even the opportunity of this pain to happen?
Then finally; sympathy.
That stuff was building up for too long.
You needed to break.
And yeah, it hurts like a mother.
But my gosh, you needed to break.

Questions/Prayer Requests

I created a Formspring for all of you who would like to contact me with questions/prayer requests/etc. You can do it anonymously if you would like.

http://www.formspring.me/morganalexisc