Humbling Holiday

"In quietness and confidence is your strength."
~Isaiah 30:15

"'Don’t be afraid, Mary,' the angel told her, 'for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.'"
~Luke 1:30-31

Today, I am humbled by the mere fact of putting myself in Mary's position. Theologians figure that Mary was anywhere from 14-16 years old when she found she was going to be giving birth to Jesus. I sat this morning and really soaked that in. I can't even fathom being my age, let alone years younger, and being told by an angel that I was going to be giving birth to the Son of God.

I can't even imagine what Mary went through--mentally with herself, having to deal with others' perceptions, having to explain to others how she was a virgin, yet pregnant. Something that I've had to work on myself is the feeling of needing to defend myself. I've found myself in plenty of situations where I am judged, people talk, people ask questions upon questions, people make assumptions, etc. Then it has just been natural for me to feel the need to almost put up my shield, and explain and defend myself. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the past year is that God is my one and only defender. "In quietness and confidence shall be my strength", just as Isaiah 30:15 says. The position that Mary was put in was the exact thing that has inspired me to trust God to be my defender and a voice of truth and righteousness for me. It has given me a sense of peace that I have never experienced before.

The other thing that completely humbled me was just the fact of being told that you were going to give birth to the Son of God. I mean really, can you imagine an angel appearing to you and telling "Don't be afraid, God has found favor in you. You will conceive and give birth to the Son of God and name Him Jesus." . . NO PRESSURE! To me, that is just the prime definition of "honor". I could not imagine being the one chosen to give birth to the Son of God--how humbling.

This Christmas, I pray that you are filled with gratitude, joy, love, and this bountiful experience of being humbled.

Merry Christmas!

Breaking

Sometimes life just sucks.
And there’s heaviness everywhere you look.
Everywhere—people are broken, sick, dying, having relationship issues, going to treatment, dealing with an alcoholic family member, getting abused by their spouse, etc.
This world is so broken.
And there’s times where I just have my “broken moments”.
I stuff,
stuff,
stuff.
And the heaviness gets deep,
high,
thick.
And then I just break.

Have you ever watched yourself cry in the mirror?
Just sat there, just you and the mirror, and really stared into your eyes?
Studied the expressions on your face?
Watch the corner of your mouth curl as your bottom lip quivers.
Watch the pain seep out of your eyes and down your cheeks.
Tears making lines down your fragile face as if making a path of all the built up crap.
The tears almost stain your face like a tattoo on your skin.
Reminding you of where you’ve been and where it’s gotten you to.
And they just flow,
and run.
And you sit there, watching yourself, and a million things come to mind.
First pity.
You pathetic thing, look at you!
Allowing yourself to break like this.
Then frustration.
How the Hell did you let yourself open a door to even the opportunity of this pain to happen?
Then finally; sympathy.
That stuff was building up for too long.
You needed to break.
And yeah, it hurts like a mother.
But my gosh, you needed to break.

Questions/Prayer Requests

I created a Formspring for all of you who would like to contact me with questions/prayer requests/etc. You can do it anonymously if you would like.

http://www.formspring.me/morganalexisc

A Thankful Heart

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
-1 Thessalonians 5:18

It's so easy in our day to day lives to complain--complain about things we don't have, complain about our circumstances, complain about things we can't change. We tire ourselves out rambling on and on, and what good does it do us? None.

This Thanksgiving holds a lot of mixed feelings for me:

Sorrow. There is a lot I have lost in the past year--specifically the biggest being relationships with loved ones. It's been a painful journey, but it has not only made me stronger, but taught me how to put my trust and faith in God. I am currently in the midst of reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge (if you have not read this book, I HIGHLY recommend it; both men and women). In reading this book, things have started to make more sense to me--for example, how I like to take things into my own hands and be in control. Not in a domineering way, but in a "I'm strong enough to handle this on my own, I'll show you" kind of way. Throughout dealing with the losses in the last year, I have had to learn to get down on my knees and surrender all to Christ--that's all I can do. That's all I'm called to do. 

Relief. Although I have lost relationships in the past year, I have also gained relationships that were lost, and now being restored. To be able to let go of that pain, hatred, bitterness, and holes in my heart has just been one of the most freeing and relieving feelings I've ever experienced. I could not have orchestrated things better myself. This was just even more proof to me that God does always have a plan and He makes beauty from ashes.

Thankfulness. Last but certainly not least. Despite everything that has gone on this past year--good and bad alike--my heart is just genuinely thankful this year. How could it not be? I look at my life and I can see countless blessings and things to be grateful for. God has been ever faithful to me. He has provided, cared for me, pursued me, loved me, and taken care of me. He has made up for where I lack, He has given me grace, He has grown my spirit, He has given me wisdom, He has shaped me to be who I am destined to be.

Although my heart is missing those loved ones that I have lost relationships with this year, I am overflowing with the joy that comes from my thankful heart.

My encouragement to you is to do your best to have a thankful heart, rather than focusing on what you don't have or are lacking. More than likely, there's even more to be thankful for than you realize.

Here's to living the destined life..

Rekindled Friendship

I met Madeline when I was in middle school through a mutual friend. My mentor at the time started a bible study with Madeline and I as well as 2 other girls. We didn't go to the same school or gatherings, but we spent time together in that bible study and whenever we'd all have a girls night or hang out time.

Years have passed after the bible study stopped, and we lost contact. We've been friends on Facebook, but hadn't really "reconnected" until a few weeks ago. After messaging back and forth, we agreed to a coffee date a few weeks back. We sat down at one of my favorite coffee shops (Kodiak Coffee in Forest Lake) and caught each other up on our lives for hours on end.

The more and more we talked, we found out how much we could relate to each other. I mean, really, it was crazy. We both left our parents homes because of unhealthy situations and are now living elsewhere for new beginnings. Our stories lined up so similarly. And even though we didn't have the EXACT same story, we were finishing each others' sentences because we knew what it was like to go through what we've gone through and be where we're at.

As we were realizing how much had happened in each others' lives in the time that had passed, I started to feel a strong bond and an overwhelming sense of God's timing. It kept astonishing me that even though so many time had passed, we were able to relate and rekindle our friendship on such a deep level.

Since that coffee date, we've texted, spent even more time together, and already have plenty of things planned to do together in the upcoming months.

This woman is so strong, so in-tune with herself, so in-touch with the Holy Spirit, and she's an inspiration to me. It's only been a few weeks since that first coffee date, and I already feel I've learned from her, been inspired by her, as well as empowered. It's so awesome how God just knew we could relate to each other and support each other on so many levels now!

Amen to God's timing.

Yesterday Madeline and I went on a little photoshoot adventure and then ended the afternoon sitting in Starbucks (buy one get one free Holiday drinks 2-5 this weekend!!) cuddled up on comfy chairs, sharing stories, laughing, and listening to each other.

Here's some photos from the day:

 

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." 

-John 15:13

Here's to living the destined life..

A True Friend

"The search for reason

Ends at the shore of the known
On the immense expanse beyond
Only the sense of the

Ineffable can glide
It alone knows the route

To that which is remote

From experience and understanding"

Words from a dear and wise friend.

This morning started off like any Thursday morning for me: awake at 6. Pray, roll out of bed, plug in the curling iron, get ready for work, have some yogurt, head out the door, and go to work. As my shift came to an ending, I put my coat on, and headed out to the parking lot where my grandpa was waiting for me in the car. A car alarm started going off the second I walked outside. As I hopped into my grandpa's passenger seat he made a joke, as expected. "Geez, quit making car alarms go off, will ya?!" a little giggle followed.

The second he started driving, he started with "I have some really bad news for you..."
I was thinking maybe we had to reschedule our Thanksgiving plans or something.
"REALLY bad news..." he said.
I braced myself.
"Grandma called this morning..."
My  mind started to race. Did she lose her job? Did something happen to someone in the family?
"...Ira went into the hospital after dealing with some pain and found out he has cancer."

My heart sunk.
Let me explain...

My grandma has worked at the same elementary school since I was born. Through the years, she has built strong relationships with staff, students, parents, etc. One of which was Ira. Ira is the social worker at my grandma's school. I've known him since I was 4. I have been visiting my grandma's school since I was a little one myself. I have so many memories of going to visit Grandma's class. I thought I was so cool; helping out the kids, ordering them what to do, and leading the line to lunch. Every time I went for a visit, I stopped in to see Ira. He always had stories for me and made me laugh--he was always such a goof ball.

As I grew older, we started growing more of a friendship rather than an elder to a child relationship. My grandma kept him updated on how I was doing while I was living out in Colorado. Soon after moving back home to Minnesota, I payed a (highly overdue) visit to my grandma's school. I knew the first thing I had to do was go see Ira. As I approached his office door, I already felt a smile forming on my face. He has this idiotic (I say that in the most admirable way) and humorous photo on the window of his door--filling up the entire space of an image of him and his dog. I knocked on the door as I heard his muffled voice talking to someone on the phone, "Hold on one moment, someone is at the door." He opened the door and a huge astonished grin filled his entire face. "I have to go, can I call you back later?" he replied to the person on the other end of the phone. "Ok, buh-bye now." He embraced me with a huge hug followed by a kiss on each cheek. We then proceeded to talk for an hour catching up on things.

This was the usual for Ira and I. I would surprise him at work. He would always have treats like fresh French press coffee, chocolate covered coffee beans, hummus and veggies, etc. He shared with me countless stories and pictures of his travels--Israel, Jerusalem, France, basically all of Europe. He always sent me home with books encouraging me in my writing and art. "Oh, I have this lovely book that you would just adore," as he would pull one off the shelf. Ira is one of those people who always listens, and he knows how to make you feel like he genuinely cares--and he does. He's invested so much time into me over the years.

"I view you as an equal. Sitting here with you, I view you as someone of the same status as me. I don't look down on you like a child," he told me.

I usually have an issue with being vulnerable. I have a hard time opening up to others because frankly, sometimes I have a hard time even opening up to myself. I love listening to others--I genuinely love it--but other way around, I'm usually not so used to and comfortable with. But Ira was one of the few people I was comfortable with doing that. I felt okay being raw. I felt okay saying whatever came to mind. I had many "ah-ha" moments in his office just spewing out words and putting things together for myself like a puzzle. I always left his office feeling a sense of empowerment and encouragement I hadn't really experienced elsewhere. His office was a safe place. A place to share conversation with a good friend over tea and treats. I've always looked forward to my times with Ira for they are very treasured.

I was planning on going to visit him next Wednesday. We were corresponding through emails back and forth for ongoing weeks since the last time I saw him. This past Monday his first email to me he explained how he was feeling crappy and having "abdominal issues". I didn't really think anything of it--just assumed he had the flu or something. He didn't respond again for a few days...and then I received the news today that he's in the hospital and has cancer.

I'm still letting things soak in. I have been praying since.



This man has taught me so much wisdom. He has invested so much into my heart and life. He has helped push me. He has been a true friend.

My heart goes out to him and his family tonight.
I know he's in His hands.

Here's to living the destined life..

The Wife of Noble Character

^"10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
      She is more precious than rubies.
 ¹¹ Her husband can trust her,
      and she will greatly enrich his life.
 ¹² She brings him good, not harm,
      all the days of her life.
 ¹³ She finds wool and flax
      and busily spins it.
 ¹⁴ She is like a merchant’s ship,
      bringing her food from afar.
 ¹⁵ She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
      and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
 ¹⁶ She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
      with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 ¹⁷ She is energetic and strong,
      a hard worker.
 ¹⁸ She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
      her lamp burns late into the night.
 ¹⁹ Her hands are busy spinning thread,
      her fingers twisting fiber.
 ²⁰ She extends a helping hand to the poor
      and opens her arms to the needy.
 ²¹ She has no fear of winter for her household,
      for everyone has warm^[c] clothes.
 ²² She makes her own bedspreads.
      She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
 ²³ Her husband is well known at the city gates,
      where he sits with the other civic leaders.
 ²⁴ She makes belted linen garments
      and sashes to sell to the merchants.
 ²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity,
      and she laughs without fear of the future.
 ²⁶ When she speaks, her words are wise,
      and she gives instructions with kindness.
 ²⁷ She carefully watches everything in her household
      and suffers nothing from laziness.
 ²⁸ Her children stand and bless her.
      Her husband praises her:
 ²⁹ “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
      but you surpass them all!”
 ³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
 ³¹ Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."
~Proverbs 31:10-31

I came across this scripture for the first time (that I recall) a few months ago. Immediately, it pierced my heart.

First off, I would like to preface this with the title: The Wife of Noble Character. This is the actual passage's title (it varies in different translations of the bible, but this is specifically the New Living Translation's title) in the bible. I believe this scripture is not just for those whom already have a husband or are about to have a husband, but to women of the Body. I believe through Christ, we are called to be part of the Bridegroom in the Body of Christ. For me personally, I already have looked to apply this scripture to my life even though I do not have a husband yet. And I believe when the day comes that God does bless me with a husband, that this scripture will continue to resonate in my soul--feeding it inspiration and direction.

The first thing I really admired about this scripture is it gave me direction. So often, I feel we as God's people in general, just ask of God--pleading, begging, desperate, hungry, searching. But how often do we really take direction well? In fact most of us, when we feel direction from God, it scares us. Why? Because we paint this "pretty" little picture in our heads of what our life needs to be like in order to get stamped with the seal of perfection in our eyes. And God forbid, it our little picture of perfection doesn't line up with Christ's beautiful picture of destiny. I don't know about you, but I could use some direction!! I could use some words of firm instruction but in a loving and gentle manner. I LOVE this scripture for just even the fact that it directs me. It's Christ telling me how to live my life and who to be--which leads me to my next point.

So often it's easy to get caught up in finding our definition, purpose, and worth in the world. It sounds cliche and a bit "broken record-ish", if you will, but it's so true. Even in the sense of social networking; how many people are "following" our blog, how many friends we're friends with on Facebook, how many people "like" and comment on our status' and pictures. We find ourselves just getting sucked into this tornado of who's who in the food chain of social status and personal worth. Living in a world that it's so easy to be self-advertising and self-obsessed, this scripture was just such a humbling, sweet word for me. I just felt God saying "Strive for this. BE this." and I find myself actually hungering to strive for that; to BE that.

I find myself going back to this scripture every morning before I set my feet to the floor, and every evening before I lay my head to my pillow.

Women, I encourage you to let these sweet words sink into your heart. Accept them as Christ's spoken word over your life. Let this be the definition of your heart, your soul, and your life. Let it reflect through your actions, your words, and even your presence. We are called to be a wife of noble character.

Here's to living the destined life..

Liberating

These past 3 weeks have been some of the best of my life--without sounding too drastic and naive.

I mean, really; never in my life have I felt so liberated, free, and independent.
Finding myself again without any predispositions from anyone of who I am, who I was, or who I am to be.
Finding what I want for my life.
Finding what I need for my life.
Making things happen.
Feeling like you're living and jumping into what you were made for.
I was made for this.
Going along with the current without paddling or hesitating.
I don't owe anyone an explanation or defensiveness.
This is my life.
Not yours.
Not his.
Not hers.
I have something to make of this all--and you better believe I have already started.

I don't know exactly what lies ahead of me, but I have this serene peace about it all.
I'm okay not knowing.
I'm okay taking leaps.
I'm okay.

Finally, I'm okay.

Here's to living the destined life..

Created To Be Extraordinary

This weekend I had the utmost pleasure of visiting Body of Christ Church in Ames, Iowa.

I don't think I will ever forget this experience. The morning had a bit of a chill in the air, and the fog hung in a low hazy way. The streets were pretty bare with a few people here and there wandering to their destinations that Sunday morning. Billy had told me that it was small, but other than that I didn't really know what else to expect. I walked in the doors and could hear the muffled voices of the choir just outside the building. As the doors opened and we entered, this feeling overwhelmed me--authenticity. I looked around and saw roughly 75 people or so all of different races, colors, ages, etc. The choir was on stage--most of them African American. Now, let me interrupt things for a second here and explain something. I was born in Forest Lake, Minnesota. One of the smallest of small towns in Minnesota and the definition of white suburbia. You could say I grew up in a sheltered way concerning diversity--I wasn't really exposed to it. So there I stood; a small town, white suburbia girl (and I mean WHITE), in a church with multiple different races, people dancing, people singing, people shouting, and just genuinely praising God. At first I was a little taken back. You could say it was kind of out of my comfort zone just in the sense that I had never been to a church like that--but within the matter of minutes, it's like my soul melted into the rest of the other hearts of the congregation. Immediately I felt like I was already a part of the church, like I was a part of the Body inside the congregation of that church.

I didn't know the songs at all. I'm used to Hillsong United, David Crowder, Desperation Band, etc. But even though I didn't know the tune, even though I didn't know the words, even though I didn't know a thing about the songs, jumping right into praising God came easy for me there. I felt welcomed, I felt accepted, and I felt like nothing was holding me back.

After worship, the pastor stood up and treached (taught + preached). Pastor Toran Smith, I have been told, works at a UPS store, and felt God laying it on his heart to start this church. When you hear and see him speak, the reason why God had that calling on his life is very apparent. He spoke with such just, authenticity, truth, and a life-giving-focused way. He spoke out of love, out of teaching, out of preaching, and out of being a vessel of Christ. He was stern, yet humble in his strength.

The topic of the message was Extraordinary. The second I picked up the pamphlet that we were to follow along in, and I read that single word "extraordinary" across the top, I knew it wasn't just by chance that I was there for that sermon.

He went into reading Daniel. Talking about how Daniel had an extraordinary spirit and extraordinary wisdom. Inside that, he started speaking about how there are barriers that keep us from being extraordinary. Barriers are something that I have had to deal with (which I'm sure a lot of you can relate to) on a pretty regular basis--especially in the past few years. A barrier can be anything from hate built up in your heart, to rules, to people speaking un-righteous things over our lives. Basically, a barrier is anything that keeps us out and away from living to our extraordinary potential.

I have allowed barriers to surround me. Heck, I've even probably built some of them myself. Within that, I've surrounded myself with them, keeping me back from reaching that extraordinary destiny that Christ fashioned my heart for. Destroying those barriers completely is something I have already immediately started praying and interceding for. I was so encouraged to realize that God can use me for His purpose, for His glory, for His Kingdom, all in extraordinary ways than my mind can even imagine. Over my dead body am I going to let barriers keep me away from that. Over my dead body will I just settle for some mediocre, boring, day-to-day life.

This message just really pierced my heart and I think it was a huge push that my heart needed to hear. I'm really in a transitioning point in my life right now, not knowing exactly what lies ahead of me, but I have such a peace about it. Basically I'm in the river, allowing God to take the current wherever He wants and whatever speed He wants, and I'm just floating along--not paddling, just floating. I'm so thankful for how Christ works--all in His perfect timing and perfect ways.

My encouragement to you is to read through Daniel, let this soak in, think about what your barriers are, and what is having you settle for being ordinary rather than extraordinary.

Here's to living the destined life..

What These Hands Were Made For

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;  if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach;  if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. "
~Romans 12:6-8

My Aunt Pat blessed me immensely with a $75 giftcard for a wonderful art supply store called "Dick Blick's" (don't for get the "B"). I went there for the first time on Tuesday and immediately was overwhelmed with excitement going from isle to isle not knowing where to start. An employee kindly helped me pick out what to get. I told her as far as painting went, I had only used watercolors and that I would like to try something new. She ever so sweetly pointed me in the right direction to the perfect acrylic paints, paint brushes, and canvas.

Tonight I finally had the time to sit down with all of my new goodies and put them to good use. I have always been the artistic one--painting, sketching, designing, creating, writing, dancing, etc. I was so excited to try a new medium of art and stretch my artistic abilities!!

Prophetic art is specifically something that has been on my heart for a long time. I love to have something on my heart, hear some scripture, listen to a song lyric, or have God speak to my heart and then put it into a creation. There is something so liberating, freeing, and healing for me in that.

So tonight, I turned my phone on silent, put my iTunes worship playlist on shuffle, started praying, and let my hands do the work. At first, I kind of felt intimidated. I had no idea of how to use acrylics, how to paint with them, what to paint, etc--but in my intimidation, I felt God asking me to sit in silence. It was in that intimate moment, where I closed out the fear and unknown of a new thing for me, that I just let myself start speaking in a language that probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else. Speaking in tongues is something that I have started making myself practice--having that intimate language and communication with Christ is something I have learned to hunger for and love dearly. In that time, I felt God just saying "Let Me work through you. Let Me work through you. Let ME work through YOU." So, I picked up that first bottle of paint, squirted it onto the pallet, picked up my brush, and set it to the canvas. I didn't have it all planned out of what I was going to paint, and surprisingly I was more than okay with that. I just started painting while singing and praying--and these 2 little creations are what I came up with. They're just little canvas' for practice--but the resources that they became to my night made me ever so thankful.

The first one is just kind of my portrayal of a reminder to myself of what Christ sees me as--not what my family sees me as, friends, people at church, people that dislike me--just what Christ sees me as. That I was formed in His image and He fashioned my heart to be one with Him.
The second one of the feather is just kind of a light, hopeful feeling--a reminder that His path is narrow but His burden light. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!!

My hope and prayer in my art is that it not only is a healing intimate thing for myself, but that it would speak on measures and levels to others that my own mind cannot even fathom. That they could see my art and something would stir in their hearts. That they would search their heart for what it speaks to them--and maybe what God is trying to speak to them through it.

All in all, I highly highly suggest stretching yourself to doing something like this.
I know I'll be doing it way more often and cannot wait until the next time I get to have a time like I did tonight.



Here's to living the destined life..

A Time For Everything

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

This scripture has been running through my mind for the past few days.

Some may take it as instruction to both, say, love and hate. But here's how I look at it: life has cycles. Life has change. Life has seasons. Heck, even the weather has seasons!! The point is, it's in those cycles, it's in those changes, and it's in those seasons that we grow.

The past 5 months for me have been plenty of variations of cycles, changes, and it's definitely been an interesting season. In coming home, I think I expected my burden to be light and my life to just be filled with joy and happiness. Which in some ways, that did happen--but in others, just the opposite happened. All of a sudden I was faced with starting my own life out for myself, which can feel a little overwhelming at times just even from a logistical standpoint let alone an emotional standpoint. All of a sudden I was juggling a bunch of things at once, and I found my heart trying to process at the same time.

At some points throughout the past 5 months, I kept thinking to myself "I just don't feel myself today" which is the worst feeling when you know you're feeling that way but don't know what to do about it. For a while I ignored it. Then for a while I got hard on myself for not reaching my full potential--which to an extent, it is sad I wasn't reaching my full potential and pushing myself to do so. However, in God smacking some sense into me, I realized that was just my heart processing things--which, as it says in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything, including processing. And maybe sometimes in the time being of our hearts processing, we don't feel ourselves. In fact, it would make sense that we don't feel ourselves when it's happening. But accepting that it needs to happen, and that it is just part of a season and part of a cycle, helps you put it all together a little easier--at least it did for me.

For me, this just came to a point the other day where I realized that season of me processing is over. That season of me feeling melancholy and not totally myself is over. That season of me not reaching my full potential and pushing myself is over. Which I'm sure there will be times where these things will come up and happen from time to time, but the season of it as a whole is done with.

Another part that plays into this is the chains that needed to be broken inside of me within me processing. I had chains of who others had defined me as, of who others told me I would be, of where others said I would get in life, of who others destined me to be. When faced with the reality of those chains and how they were holding me back in not only relationships and my own well-being, but my ministry as well, the realization and decision that I had to break them was one of the most freeing feelings I have ever experienced. To surrender those words of discouragement, those words of defeat, those words that were not in any way life-giving, and leave them at the cross was such a humbling and just freeing feeling.

I'm ready to start being me.
I'm ready to start being who God fashioned and destined me to be.
I'm ready to start taking even more action in my ministry.
I'm ready to start being His hands and feet in ways I cannot even dream up myself.
I'm ready to start living with a joyful spirit.
I'm ready to start living free of chains and bondage.

Here's to living the destined life..

Defending What Is Already Defended

"My defense is of God, who saves the upright in heart."

~Psalm 7:10 (NKJV)

It's easy to find myself defending my actions, my life situations, and my choices. In sharing with someone where I have been over the past 18 years of my life--and maybe even just the past year of my life--I find myself feeling the need to explain. For some reason there is this fear in my heart that people won't understand, people won't get the whole picture, and then (God forbid) they have a sketched view of me and my heart. I find myself feeling the need to give fact after fact so they can have as many details as possible so they know I didn't do anything wrong and I made the best decision(s). There are various things wrong with this.

The first, is that I do make wrong decisions. I have made plenty of mistakes--some by blatant choice, and others with the failing of the best intentions. I have gotten myself in a hole at times, and then proceeded to dig it deeper. Point is--mistakes have been made. 

The second (and my main point for today) is that Christ is our defender. The past few weeks in my time with God, I have really felt him speaking to me "Morgan, stop defending yourself. Let me do the defending." That has taken time to settle in for me to be able to grasp. My flesh just wants to continue jumping the gun, making sure that everyone knows I'm a good person with the best intentions. Which, you know what? Is the fact. I do have good intentions--my main intention being to serve Christ, live in His ways and love, and glorify His Kingdom. Sounds like good intentions to me, huh? However, the thing I have been missing is letting His Spirit speak through me. Allowing myself to be a vessel, for His heart to just pour out of me, and for His attributes in me to just speak in high volumes to others--louder than my own jibber-jabber of defending myself.

I don't know if any of you have dealt with this or are dealing with this, but I really hope this revelation that God has spoken to my heart can bless you. 

Let Him be your defender.

Here's to living the destined life..

Lillian's Birthday

My sweet Lillian,

Today is your 7th birthday.

The past 4 months for me have been a little hard in the sense that I haven't been able to see you or speak with you. It's almost been a mourning process that I've gone through because of the absence of you in my life. However, I understand it's how things have to be for now, and I am keeping the hope for the future that things will clear up and get better.

My worry is that you're beyond confused right now. You've had a lot of heavy stuff happen around you your whole seven years of life, and I'm sure you're just confused as to what to think. That's why right now I'm taking the time to write you a letter that I'm hoping you can read sometime when you're older and you're able to comprehend things a little better.

Lillian, your heart is so tender and sweet. The compassion that you have for everything from animals to humans inspires me in ways I cannot explain. No matter what happens, you always have and keep a happy heart. That happy heart is something that has gotten me through a lot of tough times. Whenever I was feeling discouraged, whenever I was feeling down, whenever things were just seeming to get harder and harder, I would just look at you and instantly I had more hope and a little more of an optimistic outlook on things. There are memories I have with you that I will never forget. There are songs that instantly remind me of you like "Right Round", or movie lines that instantly remind me of you like "You're burning a whole through my face". There are qwerky little quotes that you have like "Seriously? I mean, seriously.", and little inside jokes that we have like Shoniqua. Going on walks to Kodiak in Forest Lake and having little devotional times with you and your little princess bible, having you help me babysit Josie, having dance parties when nobody else was home, watching the same movies over and over again--these are the things I will never forget.

Wondering when you were going to give up your nukie.
Seeing the way your adorable nose scrunches up when you laugh.
Watching you learn to be a big sister to Josie.
Pushing you on the swing.
Taking you out for a coffee date/a treat.
These are the things I will never forget.

Singing at the top of our lungs to songs.
Making silly videos.
Coloring with you.
Watching Netflix together.
Watching you play with the neighbor kids.
The way your skin gets so tan in the summer.
These are the things I will never forget.

Your optimistic, eternally accepting, and gracious heart is something that has always spoken to my soul. The pure heart that you possess is captivating. Your smile and laugh give me energy. The life that just flows out of you radiates happiness to my heart. The heart for God and desire you have to live your life for Him is the thing that makes me the most proud to call you my little sister.

My prayer for you is that you keep your identity in Him. That you set your eyes upon Him, no matter what. The road may get narrow, the road may get really messy, and your feet may be feeling squished and tired--but always keep your gaze on Him. Cherish the ones who speak wisdom, love, and encouragement into your life. Listen to the discernment that you have in your heart (99% of the time, it's right). You're going to make mistakes, but it's what you choose to learn from them and how you continue on in life that determines your heart.

I pray for you every single day, Lillian.
There's not a 24 time period that goes by that I don't think of you at least once (usually more).
I hope you know that I love you so so much, and that I'm sorry things are the way they are right now. You don't deserve to have to be stuck in all this muck and icky stuff.

Stay beautiful, sweetness.
I love you.

Love your big sister,
Morgs

Praying & Interceding

It has become such a general and cliche for us to say:
"I'll be praying for that."
"I've been praying for you."
"Yeah, I'll pray about that."

...But are we actually following through?

I have found myself even doing it. I claim to be praying for something, I claim that I will pray for something--but when it comes to praying, I don't actually pray about it. Somehow, "I've been praying about that" has (sometimes) transferred into "Yeah, that came across my mind the other day." or something along those lines.

I have felt really challenged lately to actually follow through on prayer. Not just before bed, not just before meals, not just in times of trouble, but in and at every moment in my every day. Whether I be in the car, in bed before I start my day, in the shower, making lunch, or getting dressed.

I could write a whole post on how blessed we are to even have the tool and choice of prayer to connect ourselves to Christ in such an intimate way, but for now I just want to focus on the sole act of praying as well as interceding.

This world is broken. We all have issues, we all have trials, we all have pain, we all have struggles, we all have things bringing us down, we all have hopes, we all have dreams, we all have desires--and it is in those moments that we should be praying. In the happiness, in the joy, in the unsure moments, and in the certain moments. Not only do I believe we should be praying individually, but surrounding one another as the body of Christ in support and love and praying with and for one another.

I have felt challenged to lay down my time, to lay down what makes me comfortable, and to really pray and intercede for not only my own life and circumstances, but for others as well. I believe it is our part in our roles of the kingdom of God to join with one another in prayer--whether it be with or for one another.

2 Corinthians 1:4 says:
"who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

John 15:13 says:
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

Job 42:10 says:
"After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before."

Romans 8:26-27 says:
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God."

Hebrews 7:25 says:
"Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them." 

I am inspired to pray and intercede for the body of Christ--I believe my role is to do so.

Please, let me know if there is anything I can be praying for you for (you can send it to me anonymously or not). I promise you it will be on my list and I will follow through.

Prayer is not thinking.
Prayer is communicating.

Here's to living the destined life..

Josie's 2nd Birthday

My sweet Josephine,

Today you are two years old.

It seems like just yesterday I was waking up to your dad saying "It's time. I need you to come upstairs and sleep on the couch--we have to go to the hospital." I could barely sleep the rest of the night (well, technically it was morning). Although I already had three siblings at this point--I was beyond ecstatic. You were born and I will never forget visiting mom in the hospital and holding your sweet little fragile body for the first time. Your bones were so soft and tender, your skin was so gentle and flawless. For as many babies as I have held, as many siblings I had already had, for some reason I always seem to forget the feeling of holding a baby. For the majority of our visit, I took pictures of Lilly holding you. Boy, was she enthralled. She had never held a baby before, and you were her first little sister. I know from experience that being able to call yourself a big sister for the first time is such a proud moment. She couldn't keep her eyes off of you, and the only time she took to look away from you, she looked up at us all with the most proud smile on her face--she immediately delighted in you.

I'm writing this to you now so that some day you may read it when you are older. Why? Mainly because I never want you to forget or doubt that for even a moment that I didn't care for you and love you. This time in my life right now is a huge transition. I moved home to Minnesota nearly 11 weeks ago. One of the hardest things about leaving was leaving you behind. I had to let go of that feeling of responsibility that I was your parent or something--which was a completely false sense of reality and responsibility.

There are so many things I want to teach you, Josephine. And I hope and pray every single day that I will be able to teach you even more than I already have had the pleasure of teaching you. Here are a few things I would like to specifically note for you as your life continues and birthdays upon birthdays pass:

1. Above all else--SERVE GOD. I cannot stress this to you enough, Josie. The power of finding your identity in Christ, the power of living your life for Him, the power of living in His presence and His unfailing love--it is beyond powerful. My biggest prayer for your life is that you will live in that. I can tell you right now, you will make mistakes. You will make bad choices. You will suffer consequences. But through that? Find Him. Live in Him. Live for Him. Learn of Him. Learn from Him. Love for Him. Love Him. As long as you choose to set your gaze upon Him, as long as you choose to learn from your mistakes, and as long as you are open to what He has in store for you--you'll get through life just fine.

2. There will be times that will seem dark in life, but know that you are never alone. Not only is God by your side throughout every emotion and stage in life, you have family and friends that will always be there for you. I can promise you with everything in me that I will never turn you down, I will never judge you and turn you away, I will never turn my back to you, and I will never leave you in darkness. Through your happiness, through your pain, through your joy, through your suffering--I will be here. Don't ever question that.

3. Never settle for less. This is another thing that I cannot stress to you enough. It's so easy to settle--you convince yourself that you're not going to find anything better, that you deserve a certain thing because you're not worth much, that you're not that special. Through Him, Josie, you are a chosen child. Through Him you were destined to live a full and bountiful life. When you settle, it's easy to stray from what God has planned for your life. And let me tell you, sometimes you'll think that you know where your life is headed, and it may even see like the best place you could ever possibly be in life--but sometimes God gives us a little surprise and has an even BETTER plan for our lives. In those times, trust Him--He knows what's best for you.

4. Boys will deceive you, but make Him your main boy. When your heart is after God full-heartedly, the man God has planned for you will see that above all else. Before your smokin' bod, before your beautiful blond hair, before your ocean-like blue eyes. He will--and that boy is worth waiting for.

5. Stand up for yourself. I grew up as a people pleaser. All I wanted was for others to be happy, which is an understandable desire, but where it became unhealthy is that I would do anything to make others happy. I wouldn't speak my mind, I wouldn't stand up for myself, and I let a lot of people walk all over me. Boy, have I learned. I have quite a good feeling that this won't be a struggle for you, because even in your now young age, you are quite the stubborn and loud-spoken one--just remember it.

6. Although you may not have been planned by mom and dad, you were divinely planned by God. Although I am 16 years older than you, this is something we share. When mom was with my dad, they weren't planning on having a baby. Suddenly, mom found she was pregnant with me at the mere age of 18 (which is my age now...super freaky to think about!!). Although I'm sure she was scared, discouraged, and lost--God wasn't. He clearly had a plan and purpose for my life! As for you, mom and your dad didn't plan on having you either. I will never forget the day they both sat me down and said "Mom's pregnant." At first, I literally laughed at them and said "Good joke, guys. For real though, what's going on?" and they both looked at each other, then back at me and said "We're not kidding." I was shocked. Medically, mom wasn't supposed to get pregnant at the time, so again, just another clear reason that God has a huge plan for you & your life!! I cannot WAIT to see where He takes you!!


There are so many other things I could go on and on about, trust me, but I have faith that I will get to teach them to you. I have faith that I will get to play my role in being your big sister. Even though I'm not able to have communication with you right now or be there as you grow up, I have faith that one day I will be able to be there for you.

Having the privilege of being your big sister for the past two years has been such a blessing.
Remember, I'm always here. Never worry about coming to me about a thing. I'm your big sister and my love for you will never change nor fade--ever.

I love you, Josephine Hope.

Your big sister,
Morgan

How can I be praying for you?

Hello everyone!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have gotten a little busy lately. Within that, I feel this strong desire to pray and intercede for a lot of you. Whether I know you or not, I encourage you to send me a message--it can be anonymous if you wish!!

Spill your heart out. It can be any prayer need that you wish.

I want to do my part in being a sister in Christ and working together to be the Body of Him.

Be blessed!!

Here's to living the destined life..

Our Role In His Kingdom

While in my quiet time/Jesus time/prayer time this morning, I was feeling really convicted of something.

I can only speak for myself (though I know this is a common thing for many people) in that when having my time with God, I find myself seeking assurance, encouragement, love, and His uplifting grace. My point? Of course it's only normal to want and seek all of the above from Christ--that's something He installed in us to yearn and hunger for. Within that, there's a whole other aspect to our relationship with Christ--searching our hearts, looking at our downfalls, humbling ourselves, and focusing on what we could and need to work on (this could also entail God condemning us of things). The sole subject of searching for only happy/light-hearted things from Christ, if you will, is a whole other subject I could go on and on about, but for now I will save that for another time.

Today, I want to write to you about our role in the Kingdom of God.

When you think of the Kingdom of God, many questions may come to mind: What is the Kingdom of God? What does God want from me for the sole purpose of His Kingdom? What does living for the Kingdom of God look like?

When I sat down with my Bible to my left and my journal to my right, I felt God speaking to me over and over again to go read Ezekiel. I opened my Bible to the first page of Ezekiel. Personally, I haven't read much of Ezekiel, so I knew there was something new in store for me to hear.

I started reading about Ezekiel's vision in chapter 1, followed to how Christ directly spoke to him in chapter 2 and 3. To sum it up for you, God was calling Ezekiel to go reach out to the rebellious people in Israel.

Ezekiel 2:8 says:
"Son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not join them in being a rebel. Open your mouth and eat what I give you."

For some, this may be hard. I personally was feeling really convicted with this specific verse. In moving back home to Minnesota a little over 7 weeks ago, a lot of things were thrown my way. I've always been the "go-to" person. For whatever reason, people feel comfortable coming to me as a place to unleash what has been on their heart and mind, to tell what they have been struggling with, to tell how their heart has been hurting, and as a safe place to just allow tears to flow. First off, let me make clear that I love being there for people. I love listening, being that safe place for them, and giving as much wisdom as I can that I have gathered in my 18 years of life. Within that, I can tell you that throughout the years, there have been times where I have allowed myself to slip along with them. What I am saying is throughout my life, there have been times where I act a certain way around certain people--which I'm sure a lot of you can relate to. You know, you have one group of friends over here who are your really strong brothers and sisters in Christ. You uplift one another, you walk in righteous ways along side one another, you allow the words from your mouth to be pleasing to God. But then you have this other group of friends over here who are a little more rough around the edges, but you love them and want to show them the love of Christ in return--within that, you sometimes find yourself speaking in not the best ways, because frankly, they don't care if you slip an f-bomb out here and there. I was really feeling condemned from God that even when around those friends who are a little more rough around the edges, I need to have a consistent golden heart of Christ. If I am proclaiming His name, and trying to reach out and portray His love, I am not going to really get to those individuals by just following in their same behaviours.


Ezekiel 3:10-11 says this:
"Then he added, 'Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself. Then go to your people in exile and say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says!' Do this whether they listen to you or not.'"

Within being home for the past 7 weeks, I think I've gotten really comfortable with just allowing God to work on situations in my life. Is that great? Yes. Is that understandable? Yes. Is that the only thing I am called to do? No. I've been so focused on accomplishing things logistically with things such as school and jobs, that I have missed the biggest picture of all--my role in the Kingdom of God. As Christ followers, we all have a role in His Kingdom--it's just a plain fact.

Now your next question may be "What is my role in the Kingdom of God?"

Here are some answers:

Micah 6:8 says:
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Luke 4:18-19 says:
"'The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.'"


Luke 9:2 says:
"and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick."

Most of those verses are referring to Jesus and his role here on earth. I think sometimes it's really easy to get caught up in seeing Jesus as this Holy Spirit, which he definitely is, but he also is our prime example of who God calls us to be. We are called under God to be like Jesus. To heal the sick, to give to the poor, to serve others, to show mercy and grace, to bestow love and mercy. We are called to be like him so that others may see Christ through us. For those who do not have a relationship with Christ (and even those who do) we human beings are the way they see Christ--they see Christ through us. So if we are walking in in-just ways, living in dark places, and not walking what we speak, how is that giving the correct portraying and picture of Christ? It's not. It doesn't do Him justice.

With this said, I encourage you to really identify your role in the Kingdom of God and pick apart areas that you need to work on.
I encourage you to walk in a portrayment of Christ.
I encourage you to allow God to condemn you of things.
I encourage you to walk in the light of Jesus.
I encourage you to be an example.
I encourage you to fulfill your role in His Kingdom.

Here's to living the destined life..

A Daughter's Heart

This picture gives me mixed emotions and today was definitely an interesting day.

My mom taught me so much growing up. I remember asking her if she ever thought of having an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with me at the mere age of 18 and she responded with a confident "Not once."

My mom gave up going to college, having the "normal" life, having a paying job, and following her dreams to raise me in the home she believed I deserved. She sacrificed things for me on a daily basis, she put me before herself, and she always loved me. She raised me in a Godly home, immersing me in God's love and word on a daily basis. She encouraged me in the most precious ways. She challenged me in the most loving ways. She left me notes in my lunch box. She showed up at every dance recital. She showed up at every school event. She went on school field trips when she could. She supported the desires and dreams of my heart. She taught me to persevere. She taught me to stay strong. She taught me to anchor myself in the Lord so that the ways of this world could not tear me down. She cleaned up my wounds, and let me stay up an extra 15 minutes if I was being good that day. She listened to me spill my heart out as I cried on her shoulder and she fed me chocolate. She not only brought me into this world, but taught me how to live a life worth living.

Out of all the things my mom taught me growing up, the best thing I believe was that she taught me what a real mother's love was like. The love I have felt from my mom has been the closest thing I can describe to God's love for us--unconditional, never ending, grace-covering, immense multitude, divine love.

This year is different than most.
She's not here.
I'm not there.
We're not together.
We're not even really on speaking terms.
And she's not the same person.

But no matter how different this year is.
No matter where she is.
No matter where I am.
No matter if we're together or not.
No matter if we're not even speaking.
No matter if she's lost and confused.
My love as her daughter will never change.

Mom,
I pray for you daily. And even if you don't read this or can't hear me, I'm here--1009.7 miles away--sitting at this desk in my sweatpants and sweatshirt, my toes bitter cold as always, and tears streaming down my face.

You're my mom, and I'm never giving up on you.



Here's to living the destined life..

Your Hands (Cover)

This will always mean so much to me.

Confidence In Christ

Recently in my quiet time, I felt God speaking to me about my future.

Let me start off with this; I'm a dreamer--a huge dreamer. For those of you that know me, you can attest to that. I've always been one to have outrageous dreams for my life and future--be a fashion designer, travel Europe, get married, do music ministry, own a magazine, go to school in California, have my own studio, etc. I have even been laughed at followed with a "Oh, Morgan. You're such a dreamer. You need to set your feet on the ground more.", but I just can't help but have my head stuck in the clouds.

Within these dreams, aspirations, and goals for my life, I have labeled them just as that and allowed them to be nothing more. I've really learned lately about myself that I'm great at dreaming up the dreams, but I'm not so good at living them out and doing my part in making them happen.

Now the next question I had to ask myself is "Why?". Why was I not pushing for my dreams to become a reality?

The answer that I found to that question when I really searched my heart was that I haven't truly put my trust and found my confidence in Christ.

I have had multiple different adversities in my life that over the years I have allowed to become a crutch, I have allowed to become things to hold me down, and I have allowed them to hold me back from going for what God has divinely planned for me. I have become accustomed to this big fear that I'm not able to do big things. I have become accustomed to that mentality that in this society, who am I? I'm just some small town Minnesotan girl with not much to offer to the world. Sure, it's really easy for me to dream the dreams, but it sure hasn't been easy for me to take the steps towards making those dreams become a reality. As much as I am not a perfectionist, I think I have had a fear of failure.

So, it really hit me.

Would God create any one person for no purpose at all?
No.

Would God have equipped me all of these years through all of my adversities for nothing?
No!!

I have doubted His power with relationships in my family.
I have doubted His power with relationships with my friends.
I have doubted His power with my career.
I have doubted His power with my finances.
I have doubted His power with using my talents and gifts He, Himself has given me.
I have doubted His power with my health and medical issues.
I have doubted His power with brokenness in my life.
I have doubted His power with healing.
I have doubted His power with restoring.
I have doubted His power with unconditional love.
I have doubted His power with grace and mercy.
I have doubted His power to be faithful.
I have doubted His power in my safety, protection, and well-being.
I have doubted His power in divinely choosing me.
I have doubted His power in having a specific plan for me.
I have doubted His power in making my dreams, ambitions, and desires of my heart become a reality.


I think I had convinced myself that I had been living by faith, yet I hadn't. There have been multiple circumstances where I have said things like "That will never happen", as if I could even have the nerve to doubt Christ for a second. How wrong of me to even consider doing that after all He has done and continues to do--things that my eyes can see, and things they cannot.

"Take up shield & armor; arise and come to my aid." ~Psalm 35:2

"Such confidence we have through Christ before God." ~2 Corinthians 3:4


"I am glad I can have complete confidence in You." ~2 Corinthians 7:16

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for, and assurance about what we do not see." ~Hebrews 11:1

"For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." ~Luke 11:10

May you walk in true faith and find divine confidence in him.

Dream big--maybe it's time to take the next step.


Here's to living the destined life..

Gaining What Was Lost

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm--my great army that I sent among you." ~Joel 2:25

 If you would have told me even a month ago that I was going to be in a picture like this, I would have laughed in your face.

For years, months, and days, I lived with bitterness, anger, frustration, and hurt in my heart. For years, I murdered a specific person in my heart over and over again for the pain that he had caused me. I had convinced myself I had forgiven, when really, I was clinging onto that pain like a buoy in the water. I didn't want to let go. Why? Because it was easy to hold onto that pain. It was easy to hold onto that anger. It was easy to stay bitter. For nearly 18 years I held onto it, and let it hold me back.

In the process of moving home, it didn't even cross my mind that God could have even something planned for my relationship with my dad. I just figured I was moving home to a healthy place with healthy people and that was good enough, right? Well sure, it was good, but God had something even better ahead of me.

When I moved home, I had a change of heart. God softened me, spoke to me, and gave me the strength to take the step of going to my dad's house for dinner. I was still going in with caution, but my eyes were completely opened to something new. I noticed a change even in how I felt--the bitterness was gone, the anger was gone, the hurt was gone--all of it, just gone. It was as if a wave had come over the marks in my sand and just wiped it all clean.

It caught me off guard at first. It was strange to me. I had lived 18 years with all that baggage and burden on me and my life--and now it was suddenly gone. I believe it was only by the strength of Christ that I was able to let those burdens go. I was able to submit them to God and allow him to bring a huge wave over my heart and wipe it clean.

Since that night of taking that step in going to my dad's house for dinner, God has clearly been moving. I've spent multiple times with my dad and his wife, Angie. I've been at their house, gone out for lunches and dinners, gone shopping, and gone to family gatherings with them. We've spent times laughing, having deep conversations, and making new memories. I've heard words from my dad's mouth that I never thought I would hear in our time here on earth. Heck, they even came to CHURCH with me on Sunday!! Never EVER did I think I would live the day where I would be able to stand next to my dad in church in worship and praise for our Father. We stood there next to each other absorbing God's presence. We even found out later when talking to each other that we both cried at the same worship song--just absolutely overwhelmed by God's presence and how good He is in the fact that we were able to be there together at the same time in praise and worship.

For the first time in my life over the past few weeks I have felt loved by my dad, appreciated by my dad, and happy to even be around my dad.

No more pain.
No more anger.
No more bitterness.
No more baggage.
No more burdens.

Instead,
Restoration
Renewing
New memories
New life
New chances
New times
New outlooks
New works
New chapters

God really does restore what Satan takes from us--all within His time. What a clever one He is.

And the best part? I have my dad back.


Here's to living the destined life..

Submission

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

I don't think I fully grasped this verse until the course of the past week or so.

I was living my life fearing every decision I had to make in worry that I would follow my flesh rather than Christ's calling and desire for my life. I came to the realization one day that if we have Christ living in us, if we are walking in relation with Him, if we are striving to live our lives as a reflection of Jesus Christ, and if we have a heart after Him--He blesses the desires of our hearts.

Last weekend, I made one of the biggest decisions--if not the biggest--for my life; I chose to move home to Minnesota. The process of leaving entailed a lot of different attributes. There was a lot of freedom, joy, happiness, but also at the same time there was brokenness, guilt, and struggle. Leaving home meant I was making a decision for my life--for my own personal adult life.

Although this decision has brought SO much good and fruit into my life, it has also brought destruction with relationships. I would definitely say that has been the largest struggle. Relationships that were (and are) very dear to me were broken, and now lost.

Within this brokenness, there is a flame of hope resonating in my heart. I hit a point where I chose to submit my life completely to God. I had already done so in choosing to move, but I needed to choose so in the effects of my choosing to move.

I needed to put those relationships in His hands.
I needed to put that brokenness in His hands.
I needed to put those burdens in His hands.

Now that I have, there is even a larger freedom that comes along with that. It definitely takes an everyday willingness to continually put these things in His hands, but every morning that I wake up, I choose to do so, and there is fruit in my every day.

"Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, and delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him!" ~Psalm 34:4-8

God, praise and glory to You for lifting things from our lives and giving us freedom!! We are so beyond undeserving of Your grace, Your love, and Your mercy--yet through You we are made worthy. I thank you for that, Jesus.

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."~Matthew 11:28-30

Here's to living the destined life..