A True Friend

"The search for reason

Ends at the shore of the known
On the immense expanse beyond
Only the sense of the

Ineffable can glide
It alone knows the route

To that which is remote

From experience and understanding"

Words from a dear and wise friend.

This morning started off like any Thursday morning for me: awake at 6. Pray, roll out of bed, plug in the curling iron, get ready for work, have some yogurt, head out the door, and go to work. As my shift came to an ending, I put my coat on, and headed out to the parking lot where my grandpa was waiting for me in the car. A car alarm started going off the second I walked outside. As I hopped into my grandpa's passenger seat he made a joke, as expected. "Geez, quit making car alarms go off, will ya?!" a little giggle followed.

The second he started driving, he started with "I have some really bad news for you..."
I was thinking maybe we had to reschedule our Thanksgiving plans or something.
"REALLY bad news..." he said.
I braced myself.
"Grandma called this morning..."
My  mind started to race. Did she lose her job? Did something happen to someone in the family?
"...Ira went into the hospital after dealing with some pain and found out he has cancer."

My heart sunk.
Let me explain...

My grandma has worked at the same elementary school since I was born. Through the years, she has built strong relationships with staff, students, parents, etc. One of which was Ira. Ira is the social worker at my grandma's school. I've known him since I was 4. I have been visiting my grandma's school since I was a little one myself. I have so many memories of going to visit Grandma's class. I thought I was so cool; helping out the kids, ordering them what to do, and leading the line to lunch. Every time I went for a visit, I stopped in to see Ira. He always had stories for me and made me laugh--he was always such a goof ball.

As I grew older, we started growing more of a friendship rather than an elder to a child relationship. My grandma kept him updated on how I was doing while I was living out in Colorado. Soon after moving back home to Minnesota, I payed a (highly overdue) visit to my grandma's school. I knew the first thing I had to do was go see Ira. As I approached his office door, I already felt a smile forming on my face. He has this idiotic (I say that in the most admirable way) and humorous photo on the window of his door--filling up the entire space of an image of him and his dog. I knocked on the door as I heard his muffled voice talking to someone on the phone, "Hold on one moment, someone is at the door." He opened the door and a huge astonished grin filled his entire face. "I have to go, can I call you back later?" he replied to the person on the other end of the phone. "Ok, buh-bye now." He embraced me with a huge hug followed by a kiss on each cheek. We then proceeded to talk for an hour catching up on things.

This was the usual for Ira and I. I would surprise him at work. He would always have treats like fresh French press coffee, chocolate covered coffee beans, hummus and veggies, etc. He shared with me countless stories and pictures of his travels--Israel, Jerusalem, France, basically all of Europe. He always sent me home with books encouraging me in my writing and art. "Oh, I have this lovely book that you would just adore," as he would pull one off the shelf. Ira is one of those people who always listens, and he knows how to make you feel like he genuinely cares--and he does. He's invested so much time into me over the years.

"I view you as an equal. Sitting here with you, I view you as someone of the same status as me. I don't look down on you like a child," he told me.

I usually have an issue with being vulnerable. I have a hard time opening up to others because frankly, sometimes I have a hard time even opening up to myself. I love listening to others--I genuinely love it--but other way around, I'm usually not so used to and comfortable with. But Ira was one of the few people I was comfortable with doing that. I felt okay being raw. I felt okay saying whatever came to mind. I had many "ah-ha" moments in his office just spewing out words and putting things together for myself like a puzzle. I always left his office feeling a sense of empowerment and encouragement I hadn't really experienced elsewhere. His office was a safe place. A place to share conversation with a good friend over tea and treats. I've always looked forward to my times with Ira for they are very treasured.

I was planning on going to visit him next Wednesday. We were corresponding through emails back and forth for ongoing weeks since the last time I saw him. This past Monday his first email to me he explained how he was feeling crappy and having "abdominal issues". I didn't really think anything of it--just assumed he had the flu or something. He didn't respond again for a few days...and then I received the news today that he's in the hospital and has cancer.

I'm still letting things soak in. I have been praying since.



This man has taught me so much wisdom. He has invested so much into my heart and life. He has helped push me. He has been a true friend.

My heart goes out to him and his family tonight.
I know he's in His hands.

Here's to living the destined life..